Monday, October 20, 2008

"Yuck!"

Dinner time can be a bear for those of us with children if we as the parent are hell bent on giving our children a well-rounded diet and want to regularly introduce new foods. I am not qualified to give advice on many child behaviors, what is age appropriate, child discipline, sleep issues, and certainly not on potty training but I do have this food battle figured out in my house. Actually it isn't a battle. It is easy for me to dish out mealtime advice because I am a food Nazi and have been from the day my first son was born. No, I am not kidding. I could tell you about all my breastfeeding struggles but this is not what this blog is about and it would be way TMI. So it's easy for me because my kids do not know anything different. Other than a weird toddler phase when my firstborn only ate 5 things at age 1, I have always put dinner in front of them and that was dinner, period. Absolutely no special meals. My food Nazism has been passed on to me from my father, who grew up under extremely poor conditions in a house of 7 kids where if you didn't eat fast, you didn't get to fill your belly because it would be gone. Don't worry, my dad is the oldest so his belly is plenty big. He still eats too fast and says that he just can't break the habit.

If you are trying to implement food Nazi rules with older children who are used to having a PBJ made for them on the side I can imagine itmust be quite difficult. It will be a battle of wills and you can not win unless you are unrelenting, deteremined and do not go back to your PJB ways. Keep reminding yourself that nutrition is important and establishing good eating habits is worth the battle. If you do not believe in your core that it is important then you will lose. If you stick to it, surely they will be hungry enough to put some food in their bellies at some point.

There are simple rules in our house that make our mealtime less of a hassle than it otherwise could be. Here they are:

1) Any negative comment about dinner results in being sent to your room for the remainder of the meal. (You may come down only after apologizing to the cook and you get another opportunity to eat what was on your plate but you will be sitting at the table by yourself.)

2) No one is going to force you onto the ground, hold your nose and make you eat what is in front of you so no complaining is necessary. (Keep in mind that the next meal is breakfast.)

3) If you would like dessert then we will tell you when you have eaten enough to earn dessert.

Before I had a first grader that came home starving at 4 pm I used to have a no snack rule past 2:00 which increased the chances that food (even if they didn't like it) entered their bellies at dinner time. Now my first grader can eat the remainder of his lunch that he didn't eat at school (because he was goofing off with the boys at school) when he gets home starving at 4 pm. I'm not sure that he could do his homework in the state that he comes home in without food so for now I allow that 4 pm snack and have pushed back our 5 pm dinner to 6 pm and it's still going pretty well. Snacks in our house are usually the fruit on the fruit stand. Don't want an apple, banana, carrot or orange? Then you must not really be hungry.

I hope this food Nazism won't come back to smack me in the face, only time will tell. Jim grew up with fruit and veggies as snacks and he assures me that it is perfectly fine. Our pediatrician says that kids don't need snacks at all. We have PLENTY of treats in this house believe me, we are not lacking for those things, but when the treat is given, it is made known that it is a treat and not the expected norm.

My friend Barb has instilled most of these mealtime rules but also has her kids say when they are finished with their meal, "Thank you for this delicious meal, may I please be excused." I have not implemented this but I think it is a wonderful way to teach gratitude and manners at the same time.

2 comments:

Danielle said...

You're my hero! i can't even get Steve to eat certain things--i hope our kids aren't picky like he is!

Monica said...

I have been browsing your blog after a google search on Monthly Meal Planning. I'm really enjoying it! We have the same basic rules in place at our house, with the addition that my kids can't hit the carbs of the meal (bread, rice, etc) until they've taken a few bites of everything else. Otherwise, my son would live off bread. As it is, I have the best eating 2.5 year old that I know- you know, that kid that ASKS for carrot sticks and fruit, and thinks whole grain crackers are a "treat" if he finishes his lunch. lol. I think the most important tip for moms out there is not to be afraid to put your child to bed hungry. They won't starve over night, and they'll eat better the next day. Luckily, I have never had to do the "Uneaten dinner for breakfast" thing... but it will probably happen one day.